My head is currently a horrible place to be

About nine months ago I was diagnosed with severe reactive depression.

Since that, I’ve gone through multiple different versions of selective serotonine reuptake inhibitors and even had some electricity through my head in the form of electroconvulsive therapy. I even had four appointments with a Dr. of psych (best-in-his-field) and a bunch of colourful sleepingpills but none of this helped.

Electroconvulsive therapy was said to have some effects on the memory but this “treatment” cost me a lot of memories and got me a plenty of garbled ones. My short term memory was so bad at one point that it resembled a sad comedy version of the movie Memento.

I’ve found a small relief into my symptoms through aminoacids and soon I will be tested for some kind of thyroid malfunction, but I dont have high hopes that the thyroid would explain this.

All of this has kept me away from the car and the blog. I have been way too tired to even care about myself, with that kind of tiredness what normal nights sleep wont take away and you wish the life would go by sooner that you could sleep and rest in death.

And in no particular order, these people have kept me sane and helped me: My mom and sis, Maladar, Widric, Aphexic, Bearcat, Z, Shikker, Sensei, dm-g, A, Medusa, Hiro, Ramlin and all the people at the three offices where I work at. I probably left someone out and I’m terribly sorry, I just cant remember. 🙁

After long winter in front of our storage barn.

P.S. Because I got so much electricity through my head in the ECT, I can now tell the direction towards magnetic north pole \;)